Always smell good and wear the right shoes

Years ago as I was just about to go on stage to emcee the Campfest Music Festival comic Karen Williams slowly looked me up and down and wryly commented, “Nice outfit.” What? You don’t wear an orange 60’s cocktail dress with black cowboy boots? My motto: always dress better, er, differently, than your audience.

I’ve been known to weep tears of joy upon finding the perfect tacky prom dress at the Goodwill. Bonus points if it’s less than $5.

Always wear the right shoes:

Sometimes I recruit people to help me. A fan found this stunning frock and sent it to me:

I wore it on the main stage at the Michigan Women’s Music Festival in 2010. My one regret is that I couldn’t turn around to show the lovely butt bow.

A friend found me this fetching number. I wore it at the Virginia Women’s Music Festival in 2009.I got married that same summer so people wanted to know if it was my actual wedding dress. It was made of plastic and had grass stains on the knees. So, um, no.

Remember, a veil always enhances your outfit:

Yes, that’s me. No, I don’t play the guitar and bellydance at the same time. The sequins scratch the back of the guitar.

Center of Balance album, 1992. My taste has improved since then. It couldn’t have gotten worse or I’d be dressing Lady Gaga.

Speaking of the great lady:

Interesting but I’ll bet I smell better.

One of the few times I’ve worn jeans and a t-shirt on stage

That’s ace side player Kara Barnard to my right. Why is it that she can wear jeans and a t-shirt and look just fine while I look like I’ve just come in from mowing the lawn?

I have a secret desire to be Stevie Nicks. My velvet phase:

With Girls Gone Funny cohorts Deirdre Flint and Carla Ulbrich. I wish I could wear go go boots as well as Carla.

I will never dress as fine as Lisa Koch:

Nor twirl the baton.

Sometimes, just to throw people off, I dress normally:

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Most photos were taken by Janice Rickert at the National Women’s Music Festival except the teal dress photo, Center of Balance, the wedding dress photo and Girls Gone Funny. Oh, and Lady Gaga. At least, I’m pretty sure she didn’t take that photo.

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